I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Peaceful wait

Our home is very peaceful.James now has a lovely soft,comfy bed in the lounge,with lots of pillows.He sleeps most of the day,waking around 3 pm to drink 2 pots of coffee and eat cookies and icecream...then he reads magazines which everyone brings to him..Time magazines,bike mags,anything..
Its nice to have him out here with me instead of shut away in the bedroom.OUt here he can see the birds in the tree outside the window,he can smell me baking his favourite sultana cakes and dinner and I even give him the laundry to fold...hes got to be useful;)
On monday he wanted to go for a drive so we went to Mums for lunch.Its the first time weve been out for 2 weeks.At the farm were beautiful little baby black lambs dancing around their mothers and skipping in the sun!(wish Id taken the camera).Mum took one of the lambs to church on Sunday for Harvest festival! Mum was thrilled to have us at her place and showed us all kinds of things.James Mum had sent her some lovely windchimes for her deck and shes bought herself a birdbath.
Mum keeps telling me that I need to get out..go somewhere and she will mind James.But I dont want to leave him,not for a minute.I know she means well but I wish shed stop nagging me about it! Im happy at home and content to just be with my lover while he sleeps,while he dreams.
I am not sad.Im so honored to be able to share this time with James.To be here for him while he makes his transistion.Even just moving to a bed in the lounge took a bit of adjusting for him and he realised another step has been taken in the journey.
Friends call in and make us laugh.I have a couple glasses of red wine at night and life is good.
Cori is happy as in NY..shes been to Abercrombie and Hollisters(her favourite shops).Shes not too happy about her school subjects but she loves being with Angie.

Everything is falling into place and I feel as if I can trust God to help us through this process.We have peace and we can see good things amongst the bad..
We listen to music and spend time just looking at each other,feasting with our eyes as if it will soon be gone...we wait with love.

posted by butterflies @ 10:10 AM


At 1:27 PM, Blogger Gary said...

I havent heard of the harvest festival, but it sounds like a lovely one.

Take care.

At 2:12 PM, Blogger Joe & Karen said...

I can feel the love and peace around you and James. I felt the same honour holding my Jack... although such a different circumstance.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

At 3:19 PM, Blogger Chana said...

i have been fighting blogger or is it my laptop? either way, i finally get through in the computer downstairs..

we, Cuppojoe and i are taking the kids to Hope, British Columbia, the next province to us. we are leaving as of 3 am as it is a 11 hr drive and we are going to need many stops..one day of driving there, 3 days there in which we plan to take them to Vancouver (2 hrs more away) and one day drive back..they will go swim (and see one live) in an ocean for the first time in their lives...hopefully take them to the aquarium, another first...they are excited and i'm scared for we rented an suv that seats 8, my van only seats 7 and is old, old and crackly...i hate renting, such responisibility and it starts and ends with me..yuck...

i'm glad i have had the oppurtinity to stop by your blog before leaving. i don't want you to think that i forgotten about you even for a second...

my sincere and deepest love to you and James. please believe that.
i will be back to visit you as soon as i'm back. you will be my first stop. pls know that even though i won't be in the computer for a few days, you both are always with me.

go forth and be happy and enjoying your gifts of James, of the love you share and of time.

God Bless you both and yours...about your mom,,,well, you know how that goes..lol..what can we say about that eh? ;)

i love you.

At 1:17 AM, Blogger sleeplessinoklahoma said...

Ah but another step on the road. I am so glad you are both peaceful & comfortable. Also so happy to know James has a purpose in his life--folding laundry ~smiles~.
I know exactly how you feel about leaving James in the care of anyone else. That was so hard for me with Dave. Even if it was our Mom-I had a really hard time trusting her with him since she was not as accepting of his impending death as I. Dave & I had one friend that I was comfortable leaving with him. His dearest Cheryl (the love of his life for 30 yrs-married to someone else after she & Dave broke their engagement oh so many years before-she has a wonderful husband & they are both family to me). At the very end he thought he & Cheryl were married & he was trying to find someone for her husband, Teddy, because Dave didn't want him to be alone. We all got a big laugh, including Teddy who loved Dave so.
So...spend the time together. Do take care of yourself because you need all your strength. Don't miss a minute of the time you two have left. You will never have regrets from being together. That is what has given me the most comfort--no regrets. We did everything Dave wanted, had great times together, long talks, relived our childhood, & talked alot about death & his transition. I sang him to sleep, helped him visualize the beach that he loved so. I cherish those memories. So continue doing just what you are doing--loving, sharing, making wonderful memories. You are the most wonderful couple I know. I envy your relationship. Maybe I will know that kind of love someday. If not, I know it exists because I have seen it in ya'll.
I love you. You are always in my heart--never far from my thoughts.
Bless you both, my dearest sister & brother of my heart.

Peace, love & joy....

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Polar Bear said...

Great to see an update from you.

Do take care.

Polar B.

At 10:59 AM, Anonymous zingtrial said...

Hi my friend hope you are copping well.Nice to hear from you
Wish you well :) .
Thanks once again for sharing

At 5:04 AM, Blogger Chana said...

hi beautiful. i'm back, had a wonderful, wonderful time and the grown ups are exhausted, lol...hope all it's going well at your end..will post a mini hi i'm back even if that...i have to get all these kids ready for school..much work ahead in the next bit here..supplies, uniforms, yuck the work, lol! kids go back on the 5th of Sept so i don't have much time...will try to stop by and visit though..love you both

At 5:22 AM, Blogger Mimi said...

It is sad but so beautiful on how you are keeping a good attitude and enjoying your time together. The two of you are truly special.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Polar Bear said...

You're not really waiting, are you? I see you and James as LIVING in the moment, enjoying everything there is to enjoy, extracting every bit of joy there is around you at the moment and savouring it together.

It is a sweet sweet picture. It is a sweet sweet time.

At 11:41 AM, Blogger Lori's Minute said...

Lovely post....I can feel your peacefulness through your writing.


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