I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Thinking back..

Ive been reflecting back on my life lately.
And wondering why I exist..not in a bad way but in a real way..a factual way.
I must have been born for a reason and although it may have been because my parents wanted me it was much more than that.
It was so that I could give birth to a new generation.
My son is everything I could have ever wished/hoped and dreamed for.Hes a funny,kind,gentle,intelligent and loving man and a wonderful father.
And HE has made another generation.raising his own beautiful son.
We go on in this life so that we can continue on with the cycle.Each giving out and taking back..loving and being loved.
And really..that IS the point of my existance..Love. xoxox

posted by butterflies @ 10:40 PM 11 comments

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Giving Back

From next month,I will be working as a support person in the intensive care at our local hospital.I will give love and strength to anyone who needs it and I will take care of the patient while the family has a break.I know how much this is needed.In this same place I have seen my sister die... 3 wks after being hit by a car...and I have seen my older brother in a coma for 6 wks with meningitis.
He lived :)..I was lucky to be surrounded by family but some people have no-one.
I want to be that someone who makes a difference..even for a moment.

In the last 12 mths I have lost a lot of friends of all ages including Dr John,a lovely old man who has been commenting on my blog for yrs now....
Ian who was an alcoholic and chose his own inevitabled death..but still was only 43.
Kathy my best friend Claud's mother..Ive known her all my life.
.Today I lost another one.Liz Prior and I lived in a house with 4 other girls when Jake was a baby.She helped me take care of him.We are the same age and went to school together.
She was a good friend.We ate food at midnight and had lots of dinner parties with friends over.

But to look on the bright side....Im sure that I have GAINED many more friends than I have lost..And every time theres another funeral we catch up with more old friends LOL!!!

The biggest,hardest lesson I have learned in life..Never waste a second!
I hope I can spread a little bit of Gods sunshine around :)

posted by butterflies @ 10:55 PM 4 comments

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

merry xmas :)

Merry Christmas from me and Ezzie :)

(isnt it strange how 11 yr old boys pull faces when they have their pic taken.??)

Safe holidays everyone xoxox

posted by butterflies @ 11:29 PM 8 comments

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Mums surgery was a success..she is now walking on her new knee and apart from a few hiccups with her blood pressure and pain relief shes doing well..I have been at the hospital all the time.Its a long way to walk and 15 kms each way to drive every day and Im exhausted! but I wouldnt have it any other way..

Today we were at the hospital with Mum and I was telling my brother that I had told James to email me when he got to heaven just so that I knew he had got there safely..but I never got an email..
Ez(11) said in a quiet soft voice..theres probably no broadband..
It was so gorgeous.we all laughed:)

posted by butterflies @ 11:29 AM 2 comments

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Beautiful Day

The sun is shining,its warm,and I feel so good!
Im happy now and my life is how it should be...

Ive been painting my house (and almost everything) else heh
And it all looks so clean and fresh.
Summer is here and Im in paradise.

The only thing I have got to worry about now is Mum havinga knee replacement tomorrow....shes 80 and not as strong as she used to be.
Shes never had surgery in her life!! or even been sick so I dont know how shes going to cope but all I can do is leave her in Gods hands. xx

posted by butterflies @ 4:51 PM 4 comments

Monday, November 09, 2009

Abusive behaviour

I watched the Diane Sawyer interview last night with Rhianan about her beating from Chris Brown.
Some points really stood out to me and made me remember tha abuse that I have put up with in previous relationships.. (verbal and physical)Im thankful to be away from that now but there are some important points that need we need to be reminded of.

The abuser will minimalise it..they will say Oh it wasnt that bad..even verbal abuse that reduces us to tears.
They turn everything around so that they appear to be the victim..Eg..Im so sorry I cant believe Im so stupid to do this to you etc..
You live to hear words of I love you from them..
You love any little crumb of positiveness from them.
No-one understands what you are going through as much as the person who inflicts it.
We feel so embarrassed that we ever loved them and we dont want to face it.
Each time another lot of anger and nastiness comes from them we get a little bit more numb and we shut down.
All of these are bad signs and we should never tolerate anything that is violent or negative or unkind.

I learnt all these things but I thought it was worth reminding us all.
Love can be blind!

posted by butterflies @ 10:51 AM 0 comments

Thursday, November 05, 2009

A Time to Build

For the past couple of days I have been watching some sparrows in the olive tree that shades my deck..I knew they were looking to build a nest but I always wondered how they BEGIN the process..how they keep the first bits of leaves and straw in place while they fly off to find more.
So it was fascinating to see the (soon-to-be) mother bird sitting on some scraps of twigs very precariously as there was also a strong wind.
With great dexterity she held on with her little feet while her mate went off in search of more building materials..
so the beginning was made of a very solid foundation,held in place with sheer strength and willpower..After a couple of hrs the nest began to take shape.It now has a small round bottom and they are so busy.
I showed me a lot of new things.
Firstly she was totally trusting that her mate would indeed come back to help.
Then she had to believe that he would help her do a great job of providing the family to come of a secure home.
She sits and waits and holds everything together while he travels ans searches.
She has to fend off other birds who want to hijack her nest..she has to chase away the mice that climb late at night and she has to overcome all odds to make this happen.
Its all to do with trust and instinct..
Soon she will be ready to lay her eggs and then for weeks she will not be able to leave and she will have to rely on her mate to bring her food and then food for the babies..Im learning a lot from these birds.It fills me with wonder that other species have so much more intelligence than us!!! LOL :)

posted by butterflies @ 2:19 PM 3 comments

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