Thursday, June 25, 2009

a fighter..

I used to call myself a survivor and I was proud of it.
I Have survived many things.
And it didnt happen by sheer luck.

It happened because Im a fighter.
xxx

posted by butterflies @ 9:37 PM 4 comments

Monday, June 08, 2009

Cleansing the soul

Oh what a weekend! The tears flowed so easily as if my eyes were leaking! I didnt even know why or what set me off except maybe it was the full moon and hearing that another close friend is dying of cancer and hes only 43.He went into hospital with terrible stomach pains and he has a huge inoperable tumor in his stomach and oesophegus that explained why he cant eat..hes also lost so much weight he is hardly recognisable.He looks 70.My heart aches for his parents and his brother and his many friends that love him.he has only weeks to live and they are making him comfortable.

I cried for the loves I have lost.The beautiful ppl that have gone too soon.The tears just kept on coming.Then Mum came out with a big pot of vegie soup and a gorgeous basket of baby daffidols,out too soon and forced to grow unnaturally in a hothouse,but never-the -less greatly appreciated by me.Mum always seems to know when I need her and she never lets me down..Tho now I am worried about her too.Shes been having some health problems and wont address them cos she stubborn and doesnt want to know whats wrong! I need her in my life so much and cant bear the thought of losing her too.

But there was joy too:) My grandson Ez won player of the day at soccer and was so proud of himself even though it meant that I had to wash the teams teeshirts it was wonderful.I shouted him and Jake to Mc Ds..even though I disapprove of it heh.

And I had a call from someone who I havent met yet who wants to meet up with me to talk about a future project that I may work on with her.
So in amongst the heartache,the pain and the tears,lots of really great things happened and I know that I am walking this path in my life with God at my side:)
Have a great week everyone xoxo

posted by butterflies @ 12:30 PM 5 comments

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Heart

If you have "HEART" you have everything.
You dont need anything else.
It doesnt matter what body you carry around---healthy/sick/disabled.
Its doesnt matter if youre fat or thin or short or tall..
Or if youre blonde or dark.
Its not important how much money you have.
If you have **heart**..you are RICH.

People with heart have spirit.They are strong.They endure all things.
They have determination.

You ARE what is in your HEART. xxx

posted by butterflies @ 10:08 PM 3 comments

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mothers Day :)

Happy Mothers day to all the wonderful mothers out there...
and also to the great fathers that are raising children on their own and having to be both Mum and Dad..

This is my Mum on her 80th birthday in March..she is loved by so many ppl worldwide:)She is also the MOST generous person Ive ever met and believes that what you give out you will get back tenfold.
Good on ya Mum..youre still doing great and we all love you.xoxox

posted by butterflies @ 2:55 PM 6 comments

Monday, April 27, 2009

A struggle

Its so long since I blogged!
Ive been busy but thats no excuse.,,well Im trying to keep busy.
Im lonely.
There Ive said it.Its doesnt look so nice written down but at least its out there.

Of course Im happy with my life..My son has just got a scholarship for his fees
at Uni and my grandson has been here with us for a week almost.
We went out to dinner on sat night with a friend who was here from Japan.
He bought teeshirts and wine and chocolates:)

But nothing fills the empty void inside of me..I miss being in love.

posted by butterflies @ 5:28 PM 7 comments

Monday, April 13, 2009

Delightful:)

This is the light of my life..the sunshine of my soul.
My grandson Ez..(10 yrs old) with the card he made for me on his dads computer.Hes very clever.
Him and his father are the reason for my existence.
I love them.

posted by butterflies @ 10:08 PM 5 comments

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Today I realised something..
Life really IS what you make it.
Now Im totally focused again.I know what I need and what I want.
I also know what I DONT want.
Maybe thats the thing I learnt today.
There are some things in my life that Ive gone through that I can NEVER repeat.

James death and even my divorce(after 21 yrs of marriage) before that have been so much grief to bear.I have cried and wept over all kinds of things but those were the worst.And neither of them I had any control over.
And Im all done crying!
As they say in Boston...Im all set thanks!!!
And I DO have control:)
Wow..Im back in the driving seat!

posted by butterflies @ 7:51 PM 4 comments