Thursday, July 20, 2006
The happy and the sad
Every morning I watch Good Morning New Zealand on TV.On Monday morning,Sarah,the host,came on and was coughing and sick and I emailed the show and asked that they give her a couple of days off because she should be at home resting and not spreading germs around and that I hoped shed be better soon....today she came back to TV and she thanked me personally on the show:) She said Id like to thank Beverley for her lovely kind thoughts and wish her well as she nurses her husband with cancer.I was so stoked to hear that! So I went to tell James and I couldnt wake him up..I kissed his cheek,I rubbed his face,stroked his hair..nothing..
Then I kissed his lips.They parted and he opened his eyes and said..oh its my angel.
He smiled and went back into the deep sleep he was enjoying.
But I freaked..I went all sad.I came back to the lounge and cried.Im scared..Then Jake texted me and said go with the flow..he just knew what to say.Hes a good son.
I dont want my James to leave me but I know hes just about held on as long as he can.I feel the presence of God and we are bathed in His love.But Im still scared.
I dont want to live without my lover.I need his laughter..and his kind words.
Oh God..help me through this!
posted by butterflies @ 11:11 AM
13 Comments:
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I wish I knew the right things to say... I am thinking of you both..
try to be strong
SaraXX
I too don't know what to say, but I wanted to send a hug.
i'm crying with you for i can read your despetaration and feel just a bit of your ache. i too don't or can't say anything to make it any better. i'm so sorry. i wish...
i love you B. i wish you weren't loosing him. i'm sorry.
May God Grant you strength.
Just commenting to send you prayers and loving thoughts.
God will be there through it all and you have the prayers of so many.
Your son is right. Go with the flow. And remember there are many people in this world who are on your side.
Chana sent me. I really wish I knew what to say. You are lucky in one respect - you have a chance to say goodbye and everything else you need to say. Use your time wisely. It's a gift.
butterfly my blog mate,I was visiting chana"s blog and was sad to read about it on chana's blog. I can pray for you and wish you all the best.yes go with the flow like your son says.
you will be in my thoughts
zt
http://zingtrial.blogsome.com/
My dearest sister-friend,
Oh how well I know that experience. There just are no words. Know, as you always have, that God is holding James close. He is also holding you, hugging you through the pain. I am so sorry for the ending to this story. For we do know how it will end. Please know that you are in my thoughts, prayers, & heart. I love you both so much!! As I was reading your blog I too began to cry. Just so painful!!
Take care dearest. I am beside you!
Blessed be....
I am here via Chana's blog... Go Forth &... I just had to stop by. I know my words cannot take your pain away. I know the pain you are feeling right now is so deep. Please know that I am thinking of you and your family. I am praying for God's arms to comfort you and keep you. I am praying for His peace to surround you. I am holding your hand right now...
God bless...
Butterfly,
I am here via Chana's blog. I am so, so sorry to read about your situation. You do seem to have it all together in that you trust in God to take care of both you and James. May He continue to hold you in the palm of his hand and please know that we are here for you.
Pop C
I am here via CHana.
I am awed by your compassion and your strength...I read back a few posts and with all you have going on in your heart and your mind...you stop to notice someone else...that is incredible..
That is what ripples out...
Peace and comfort
Jodi
I'm stopping by to send my prayers and strength... I feel your bond with your soul mate, James... I too have met my perfect match and fear everyday in losing him. 5 years ago we had a terrible diagnosis of Cancer and hopefully through surgery and radiation we have beaten it... Only God knows... I'm sorry for the hard news of stage 4... my husband's Mom passed because of Lymphoma and she lived on for over three years too. Her husband took her to every possible chance to make her well and in the end she shares her resting place with Jesus...
I know it's hard to be just thankful that you too shared this short time on earth together... know that it's not going to be the last time you two meet... Enjoy your time and savory your memories...
God Bless,
Lori