I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Monday, August 07, 2006

Shine On Crazy Diamond...

My sweet baby James is on bed rest now.He had a bad weekend and his pain levels tripled..hospice have told us now that if he cant get in control of his pain then he will have to have a pain pump so hes moving onto the next stage now.
Hes happy in bed,then wakes and moves onto the sofa and sleeps peacefully while life carries on around him..last night we all watched The Worlds Fastest Indian again and he really enjoyed that...he even laughed out loud.
We are at peace,amazing gentle peace.We have each other,we have wonderful support and kind friends all ready to help to do anything necessary..Ezzie made James a chocolate cake on the weekend and he ate some..and a small piece of steak too..
He looks very ill now tho and even Mum got a shock and it was only a week since she saw him..time marches on.
But we remember our dear friend Dave and how happy he was in his home,in his bed,with his mum and sister taking care of him,smoking a joint when he needed to and listening to all his favourite sounds and watching his shows on TV.
Me and James are happy.We dont want pity...we are so lucky that we have each other.We feel so thankful that we can still lie in each others arms..cuddling and kissing.James drifts away a lot and his dreamland is full of lightness and color.
Sometimes he says hes had a good trip;)...better than the old acid days..heh.
Now Im at home and will not leave his side.Others have stepped in to do the shopping,Jakes always here to talk and keep me company and Rex bought the Pink Floyd in concert for James so we have that playing a lot.Music is important and it feeds the soul.Johnny Cash is a frequent visitor too..
Theres a feeling of spring in the air..I have daffodils out and tulips coming out..daphne and magnolias.I feel good and strong.My lover is with me and its all good..it was the best decision to come back to New Zealand where life is easy.

posted by butterflies @ 11:41 AM


At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brother Dave was a darned good guide.


At 1:23 PM, Blogger Chana said...

absolutely no pity.

you and James are walking a road, that although heart breaking is the way to the Lord, and someday you will again be together and this time for all eternity.

you sound at peace and that makes me feel better. i read James comment about brother Dave and his words have made me feeel better. thank you for both, for you both are making me feel better..interesting turn of events.

i love you B. i am glad that you don't have to leave his side for the everyday things. keep on enjoying your muscic and his cuddles and his kisses.

it sounds just right. the tulips, the music, the love..

May God grant you both His graces.

We are united in spirit, remember that B.

Hugs to both.

At 1:06 AM, Blogger sleeplessinoklahoma said...

What can I say other than I love you both so very much!! You're right James, my little bro was a good guide. I have said this so often:"Dave taught me how to live, & he taught me how to die." I know he is with you both now. I have felt his presence so strongly lately. But today, I know he is with ya'll & will stay awhile. Let me know if you see him. I hear him often (he speaks in my heart just like he did when our rooms were next to each other), but haven't seen him for awhile.
The pain pump will be a big help for getting the pain under control.
I'm so glad you are in NZ & have others to take care of the everyday duties. Now, as ya'll are doing, is a time for togetherness & doing those things you enjoy. I watched the World's Fastest Indian when I was recurperating. LOVED IT!!!
Take care dear family.

Peace, love, joy....

At 2:13 AM, Blogger Gary said...

You are really in a wonderful place. An inspiration to everyone.

At 7:46 AM, Blogger Polar Bear said...

Thanks for reminding me over and over again that life is to be treasured because it can be so so short.

At 8:25 AM, Blogger Joe & Karen said...

How beautiful to be at home, where you have eachother and favorites in Johnny, Floyd etc. Music does soothe the soul. Dreams are magical. Peace be with you both. I think of you daily and smile, remembering every second I had with my Baby Boy Jack. Its the seconds that count, not the days, weeks etc...
Love & Light

At 6:55 PM, Blogger Chana said...

just stopping by to say i love you both...

hugs, lots of hugs..

wishing you many butterflies my friends..the most beautiful ones!

At 7:09 AM, Blogger Sandy said...

What a lovely post. I'm very moved humbled by it. Much love.

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous zingtrial said...

This is a lovely post ,peace be with you both,love to you both

At 11:06 AM, Blogger Joe & Karen said...

Dear Butterflies and James, Not a day goes by you're not in my heart and thoughts. Just wanted to let you know. I wish you tender moments of love to celebrate one second at a time and Sweet Dreams to last the whole night through.


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