I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Its a warm spring day.No-one looking from the outside would know that theres anything wrong.And,really theres not except that our lives together on earth will come to an end..soon. Today James asked the doc if he would make it to his birthday on dec 16th..Des looked very gently at him and said You might.
Thats only 3 mths.
I want to scream! But I dont want to disturb the peace we have.I am so in love and so is James.We have come to a different level.We look at each other and know what were thinking.
I raced into a shop on the way to the hospital and James sat in the car.I wanted some spring clothes..a couple of tees and some tops.I grabbed some and hurried out to the car.We went up to the hospital and found a park right by the door..thank God.
The doc told us not to come again and he will come out to us.Hes a lovely man and so kind.James jokes with him and we dont cry.
When we got home I tried the clothes on and I look revolting!! I hate all of them and will take them all back! Oh well..I spose I cant think straight.Its ok.I was trying for some retail therapy but my body has turned to jelly since Ive been sitting round with James.
We posted a couple of pre xmas presents today to James Mum and sister.He chose them and he wanted them posted right then.
Its a good day and James has just asked me to marry him (again)..I said NO (again).
(we got married already)
The day we met was 911...5 years ago yesterday.I went online to extend my sympathies to my American friends and through other people I met James.We fell in love.And weve never stopped loving.Its all good and its in Gods plan.

posted by butterflies @ 3:59 PM

20 Comments:

At 5:07 PM, Blogger Chana said...

Marry him again silly. Marry him. He wants that. He needs that. He loves you. Accept it totally. Give in to love without holding anything back, with no fears and no hessitance.

Marry him four hundred times if he asks. Why not? You are blessed. He wants you. He needs you. Marry him everyday if he chooses..How blessed that he wants to marry you so often. He loves and you love so..i treasure your post. It's full of life and joy. Thank you for sharing.

I betcha you look great in those clothes. We are often too critical, see what James saids...

Go have your cuddles..go have your smooches and your hugs..go enjoy your time with the love of your heart and mind. i'm happy for you both. i love you both.

i'm glad the doc is so kind. you deserve all of that and so much more.

 
At 5:09 PM, Blogger Chana said...

i forgot to tell you how much i love the picture..it's good to see love and cutenest and sweeteness and joy in one shot...your eyes and his are sparkling with happiness..how beautiful!

 
At 5:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "Marry Me" is something I told her I'd do every day of our lives when we were married. It's also pretty darned good for continuous Honeymoons!

James

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger Chana said...

Ahhhh he is something B.

Love at it's purest..thank you for explaining.

I'm still in ahhhhh! :)

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger sleeplessinoklahoma said...

You guys are the best..& I hate the hand you have been dealt. I have no words today...I know what you felt, dearest Bev. I know that news all to well. So today I am shedding the tears that you cannot. I will carry your pain in my heart forever.

That you found each other on a day of such great saddness is providence. God's hand has been on ya'll all this time. He knew .... He knew....
Marry the man, already!!!
James, you have set the mark for anyone I will ever consider marrying. If I can't have what you & Bev have...then I will stay on my own. You inspire me, you bless me, you are a hero to me.

I love you both!!

Blessed be...

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger sleeplessinoklahoma said...

You guys are the best..& I hate the hand you have been dealt. I have no words today...I know what you felt, dearest Bev. I know that news all to well. So today I am shedding the tears that you cannot. I will carry your pain in my heart forever.

That you found each other on a day of such great saddness is providence. God's hand has been on ya'll all this time. He knew .... He knew....
Marry the man, already!!!
James, you have set the mark for anyone I will ever consider marrying. If I can't have what you & Bev have...then I will stay on my own. You inspire me, you bless me, you are a hero to me.

I love you both!!

Blessed be...

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger butterflies said...

Oh its all just a JOKE!! LOL
He asks me to marry him about 50 times a day and I say YES about 30 of them! Its something that we say...I say yes when hes been good;)

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Snidget said...

I'm so glad you guys have each other. I'm sending peaceful vibes... and you two are in my prayers.

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger MzAriez said...

That's a really nice story you have there to come from such a tragedy.

Take care and enjoy love.

 
At 7:58 PM, Anonymous zingtrial said...

I Happy for you Two
LOve makes it wonderful
Wish you both well
stay happy :) .

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger Dr.John said...

Every time I come to your blog I am inspired. I see such love and such faith. To continue to believe in God in the midst of such oain requires a depth of faith. Trully the two of you are an inspiration.

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Cindy said...

What an inspiration you both are! To see such love and faith in the face of such a difficult situation is amazing. You are both in my prayers. God promises His peace to those that abide in Him and I can see that peace is so very evident in your lives.

 
At 1:31 AM, Blogger Chana said...

unimaginable to so many out there that wonderful people like you really do exist. i'm so lucky in my life to have a great support and care and so much love. thank you for your words. in a time when i should be supporting you, it feels like you are holding me up constantly lately. you have the kindest heart. James loves you so much because you are so darn lovable..God Bless you.

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Cuppojoe said...

Reading over the past couple months worth of posts, I'm amazed at your zest for life. It's in every word, every description, every proclamation of joy, sorrow, hope, exhaustion, or peace.

I hope I get to live at least half the life of you two! Thank you for the inspiration!

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger Gary said...

That really is nice of the doctor to volunteer to come out if you need him. He sounds like a very special doctor.

 
At 7:54 AM, Blogger Polar Bear said...

It's so wonderful to read about your love. In a world with so much wrong and evil, it is great to know that there are still pockets of love like yours that make the world a better place despite it all.

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger Joe & Karen said...

Dear Butterflies, Not a day has gone by you and James are not in my prayers.
I have been hiding away for a while. Although I can't immagine what you are feeling, I know that scream in your belly, it was in mine too when told my Jack would leave. But hold on, there will be time enough later for that scream. How right you are to not disturb that peace you have. Bathe in it, breathe it in every moment. When that time comes, to release that scream, we will all be here, to hold you while you let it out.
I have a new blog, its at mylongwindingroad.blogspot.com I still write at Letters to Jack.
I will come by again. I'll send you love and light. In love
K.

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger sleeplessinoklahoma said...

I guess God has not seen fit to pass the 11th Commandment yet. Ya know Dave asked ~smiles~.
I love you, too....& I miss you terribly. We have shared sooooo much. Laughter, tears, good times, partying, just visiting. Who knows, we might just be together again before we all join up on the other side. We will have to see what destiny holds for us. But know that I am sending a really huge hug to you...always!!


Love ya bunches sista!!...& you too James!!

Hugs, smiles, love & kisses to all...

 
At 12:27 AM, Blogger Mimi said...

I do not get weepy when it comes to romance. But you too are truly special. You look so amazingly happy in the picture. I truly believe that you too are very special with a love beyond the normal. And that is not just nice talk either. I believe it.

 
At 2:43 AM, Blogger Chana said...

I just called to say, I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart...

hi B, hi James. just wanted to drop in and say hi..

XOXOXOXO

 

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