I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Friday, February 06, 2009


I learnt something the other night that has changed the way I think and feel.
It was a profound moment for me.

I was watching a programme on tv about a guy who was too scared to eat certain foods.
He wouldnt eat meat or anything that came out of an animal,he wouldnt eat vegies cos they came out of the dirt,he wouldnt eat fruit cos it came from trees where birds could shit on it..I thought he was terribly disabled.He even took his own Christmas dinner to his friends house.
He went through all these things with his shrink and we learnt about his OCD and how he had to double check his door 4 times before he could leave the property.
It turned out that his mother took him and his brother to get an icecream when he was 5 yrs old and told them that when they got home their father wouldnt be there.
He wasnt and he never saw him again in his life.Hes now 50...so the door checking was like checking to see if his father has come back..subconsciously.
We all do that.We internalise everything until the *thing* becomes something else.
So the shrink said to him....maybe the thing that you fear the most has already happened.I sat bolt upright!!! OH!
How wonderful!! To have it BEHIND! to have already been through it...to be a million miles away from that fear!.OMG I was amazed and it spoke to me.
Ive had some terrible things happen to me and the most devastating heartache to deal with.
And really...what could be worse than what has happened already??
Or maybe,as we get older and more mature we learn to deal/cope/handle things better.
Anyway,whatever that shrink said that day helped me.It gave me hope.It gave me strength.

Today is Waitangi Day in New Zealand.The day that The British signed a treaty with the Maori,the indigenous ppl of NZ (or Aotearoa,the Land of the Long White Cloud.)

Peace and love :)

posted by butterflies @ 9:37 PM


At 12:22 AM, Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Happy Waitangi Day Butterflies..I am so pleased that you came to such a realisation..and the thing is, you HAVE got the strength there, and see, you also have friends you have never even met before sending you positive vibes..it sure does work :)

At 4:02 AM, Blogger Ravn... said...

Hony! I am home!

Love Ravn...

At 5:13 AM, Blogger Amber said...

That's an amazing insight, thank you. :)

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Oklahoma Farmgirl said...

Well now that's an ephiphany for sure. How freeing--the worst has happened. Very cool!! This really touched me this morning.

Have a fabulous weekend. I love you!!!! & I miss you terribly.

Blessed be...

At 12:27 PM, Blogger Dr.John said...

The other insight is like it.
The best is yet to come.

At 1:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Timely & apropriate...

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Cat Raggedy said...

That is so dead on. We do internalize things to the point where they come out as some other behavior on the outside. I wish I had seen that show.

At 6:58 PM, Blogger for what it's worth said...

What timely words and thoughts for me too.
Fear: the greatest inspiration to achieve beyond one's dreams....

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Polar Bear said...

Isn't it amazing how the light bulb just lights up sometimes?

I also think that as we grow older, we do realise that we've been through difficult things before, and our courage grows from that.


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