I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Power of Prayer

This week has been terrible for us and Ive been too exhausted to blog..and too sad.
Every night James takes sleeping pills and an hour after,he has been reall y trippy and saying bizarre things which frighten me.Hes been walking around and doing strange things and Ive been too scared to go to sleep in case he hurts himself or whatever..so each night I was getting about 2 hrs sleep.
I rang hospice who said..oh the cancers gone to his brain and he has delirium..well,I knew he was delirious but it only happened after he took sleeping pills! I told them that and they insisted it was delirium and prescribed another strong hypnotic drug to him.I looked the drug up online and it terrified me.
Yesterday afternoon I had to go to my GP/MD to get another certificate..of course I was exhausted and a bit weepy cos of my worries.SO,he says ok you need antidepressants and James needs to go into respite care for a couple of nights so I can sleep and relax before we end up with 2 patients...that upset me even more!
So last night we decided to make some changes ourselves.We prayed for Gods strength cos we had run out! James took only 1 sleeping pill and guess what? NO delirium!!! We were right all along! It did take him a while to get to sleep but I wasnt worried about him.He wasnt saying bizarre things,nor walking around.He read his bible and prayed for Gods peace and we got it.I slept for 7 hrs and feel much better today.
I can cope..Im not having James going to respite,I cant have him away from me! I couldnt sleep if he wasnt here.We know that things are getting very tough now...the cancer is very advanced but we are sure that God will help us and remain our strength...He will never leave us nor forsake us.
You cant believe everything docs say..they dont have all the answers.We make up our own minds from sound judgement.Im not going to take antidepressants..at least not yet.I just need sleep and rest.
Please pray for us. God will listen:)

posted by butterflies @ 9:24 AM


At 9:47 AM, Blogger Dr.John said...

We will keep praying for you. Indeed Doctors are often wrong when it comes to deciding what pill caused what.You and I know that God can be trusted.

At 11:46 AM, Blogger Snidget said...

Trust your gut when it comes to medicine and doctors... you know James and he knows his body best.

Will pray... please take care of yourself, so you can take care of James!

At 4:06 PM, Blogger sleeplessinoklahoma said...

You know I am always praying for the both of you, & so is Mom. You are both being added to the prayer list at her church so there will tons of people sending up prayers to God's throne. We will flood Heaven with prayers for peace & rest.

Doctors can be so unhelpful. They just do not listen sometimes. You know how much of that we went through with Dave. Luckily in the end everyone just let us do what we knew as best & quit trying to tell us what would work. You & James know best. I am so glad you trusted your own feelings about the meds. Those types of episodes are so scary, but it is all under control now. Thank God!!

I know I am far away, but please, please let me know if there is anything I can do other than keep praying. I know how hard this is. I am so glad you are in NZ where you have a support group.

I was just getting ready to e-mail you when I found you had posted today. I knew something was wrong..I could just feel it. I was worried. Now I know what's up & that for now it is all under control again...at least med wise.

Take care my dearest sister. Give James a big hug & kiss from me. Know I am sending hugs & kisses to you too. Praying for good sleep for the both of you.

I love you. Forever we will be together even though the miles separate us.

Blessed be....

At 4:21 PM, Blogger Chana said...

i'm sorry that it has been so toughed. i feel like i failed you. i didn't know it has been extra rough lately.
i will keep up the prayers hon..and sending you positive thoughts.

i'm very impressed with you both. i'm glad that you put your heads together and came up with a better answer than any of them..Just because they have doctor/nurses degrees doesn't make them any less likely to make big mistakes.

the cancer is advanced but your love and care and wanting to be together is way stronger than any crazy cell. my love you are carrying a huge cross and all you need is a bit of sleep to deal with it all..if i could only sit with him, i swear i would so you could sleep some..i do anything to be there for you in body and not just spirit..

i feel hopeless all the way here..i want to do something..what? oh pls give me a task to help you do this..

darn docs, darn hospice, they all mean so well but they have to listen more closely and listen they must..they need to stop going by the book and see your situation as unique for it is..

i ask God in Heaven to be with you both every second and to please help you keep a clear mind so that you can keep on making the right decisions and finding a way..

i love you B and i love you J...i'm sorry..and i do care..

At 8:18 PM, Blogger butterflies said...

Chana...you could never fail anyone.You HAVE to know that.Youre a wonderful friend and I know what youre going through.Please never feel insecure about anything.
Sleepless...We/I love you.You know whats happening and I trust you. Always.
Snidget..thanks Hon.Weve known each other for years now and I will always be grateful for your enduring friendship.
Dr John..I believe in your prayers.Thankyou.God listens to you.Breathe easy.

At 10:37 PM, Blogger Gary said...

Doctors are wrong all the time. Medicine is an extremely hard thing to do perfectly. You were right to trust your own instincts about the sleeping pills. I have heard that some of them do have those types of side effects with some people.

At 6:14 AM, Blogger Mimi said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. It certainly sounds like the sleeping pills have caused some of your troubles. Some people like myself are super sensitive to that stuff. Please try and get some rest!


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