I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Seeing the light

After such a long horrible sick month I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel.I have finally almost stopped coughing(thanks to benedryl) and have gotten control of the pain.Im starting to feel like my old self again.Its a beautiful day today...20C or 70F and its the middle of winter.The roses are still blooming and its very warm.I love these days.We sit on our deck in the sun and drink coffee from America(thanks Diane!) weve just had a long talk to James Mum and my Mums just been out with a pecan pie which she made from pecans sent to her from James Mum:)
It makes the world quite a small place when family are all around us and friends call in to help when were unable to.Im so thankful to everyone and so full of love.I have peace and I can smile again.
We have been back in NZ for a year now.James is still alive despite the docs saying he had 2 mths at Xmas time.We dont believe what anyone predicts anymore.His time will come when God calls him.In the meantime,we laugh,we dance,we kiss and cuddle and we say kind things to each other that will make our memories precious.
My son is amazing and takes time out of his day to always call in and make us laugh..my 15 yr old daughter is behaving herself and my oldest daughter is in love:)
This is my life and its all good.I have no complaints.

posted by butterflies @ 2:49 PM 7 comments

Monday, May 29, 2006

ER again!

Sorry to have made you worry Polar! I have been so SICK!
Last night James insisted I go to ER and Jake drove us.By that stage I could hardly breathe and I was in wicked pain....Ive been like that for days now.
The doc I saw was wonderful.Kind,caring,and intelligent.It helped that I had both my boys with me cos they could intervene and ask the questions I needed to know.
So the most important thing was to get control of the pain which was causing me so much stress.He gave me some very strong analgesics and after James had told him that we had some benedryl he suggested I take that to stop me coughing.(Whooping cough was discovered in China in 1578 and is called the 100 day cough).I had been coughing so hard and so long that all my chest wall muscles are bruised and inflammed.
When we got home I took my pills and benedryl and had the first complete nights sleep for 3 weeks! and I didnt cough...its such a relief.When I woke up the pain was back but I feel a LOT better:)
Palliatve care docs changed James meds last week to oxycontin and its helping him..its way better than morpine and doesnt have any side effects..hes quite out of it but at least hes almost pain free...in fact he was well enough to go to the movies on sat with Jake and Ez and Cori.They saw the new X Men..they all loved it and its a good memory for both the kids.Cori hadnt been out with her Dad for mths so it was very special.Ezzie adores James and he makes him laugh.
So even though Im sick and James is sick,we are together and in love.Thats all that matters.God will give me some strength to cope with what is ahead for me and hopefully my health will return to normal soon.Its hard to cope when Im sick!
Im going to open a tin of peaches and eat them all for breakfast.These pills give me wierd cravings! But they are better than prednisone!
Thankyou all so much for your concerns and thanks too to everyone that has emailed me with such love and good advice! Love you.

posted by butterflies @ 9:09 AM 7 comments

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Whooping Cough! Yuk

I had a dreadful night,Thursday night.So much pain,coughing every ten mins and not sleeping a wink! I went back to the doc and he gave me another week of prednisone and some antibiotics again.I felt so lousy and wasnt sure how Id get through a weekend like that...
Then we were having a family dinner with the teenage terror and the phone rang.It was Jack,my doctor.He said the blood test results that Id had done on Monday had come back and Id presented positive for whooping cough!! and he said it was no wonder I felt so lousy..a double whammy..whooping cough and pleurisy..How unfair is THAT.But since Ive been sick for weeks now it was kind of a relief to have some diagnosis that explained why I felt this way.The treatment is still the same.
BUT..how third world! We have lots of political refugees here from Somalia and other countries that bring in infectious diseases.They dont even need screening and they have a lot of TB also.Its unfair considering the tests that I had to go through to get residency in the Sates...the Somalis are not well liked here.They dont work,the taxpayers pay for their lives their cars,their medical treatment and they dont contribute anything.
Now I have to be very careful cos I dont want to give it to anyone else though the doc says I should be past the infectious period...So In the last 12 mths,Ive had shingles (reactivation of the chicken pox virus) 3 UTIs and now whooping cough.All viruses!!! He says its cos Im run down..I dont know but Im now taking mega high doses of vit C and B and probiotics.Ive been sick long enough and Im SO over it!
But I did get a lovely treat yesterday.My friend sent me a parcel with slippers,a scarf and some warm spotty socks with a note to say KEEP WARM!.That made my day better so thanks Robbie:)

posted by butterflies @ 8:03 AM 5 comments

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

First Frost

This morning we woke to a beautiful crisp clear day with thick frost on the ground.
That means that it was below zero C ..for some reason we must have known as we left the heater on low all night! The dog loved it..heh
I love these clear Waikato days.The garden will change now.The impatiens will be gone,the begonias,and the cosmos..in their place will be pansies and irises and polyanthus.I love the winter garden..the ground looks clean.No bugs.
Im finally beginning to recover..slowly.Went back to the doc on Monday and he increased the prednisone to double the dose cos the pleurisy has spread to the left lung and I am in a lot of pain but I can see some improvement.My cough is not so hacking nor so often.I still feel quite lethargic and sick but my state of mind is better and I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.
The cottage is complete!! Its wonderful..all my own taste and all clean.The floors look great and everything blends in and shines.Its been a major mission which exhausted us both and Ive been sick the whole way through the process but its a joy to get up in the morning and its a lovely place to sit around in and be sick!
James is thrilled with it and hes glad he got the chance to see the finished product.Hes been pretty good lately,maybe because hes had to look after me.Ive still cooked for 5 each night but James has done the floors and dishes and fussed over me.Im looking forward to caring for him again.
Heres a pic of Red Dog..lying in the morning sun.

posted by butterflies @ 9:10 AM 3 comments

Friday, May 12, 2006

Now..IM sick!

So for the past 2 weeks we all had colds and coughs and mine has gotten progressively worse..its gone to my chest and Im in wicked pain.I finally went to the hospital on monday night and a chest xray shows that I have plurisy! Its my lungs all sticky and its between my 2nd and 3rd rib! oh my gosh its painful and I feel lousy..Ive been put (reluctantly by me) onto a course of prednisone to get rid of the inflamation and I think its beginning to help..I still have a hellava hacking cough but the pains getting a little better.At least I dont have to hold my sides when I cough now! The doc says it could take me 6 weeks to recover from this...I have to rest now and try and heal myself.Im looking after James too and he stopped breathing yesterday morning..I rushed in when I heard him choking but I turned him over and he recovered.
I need your positive energies and your prayers.Its so hard for me to cope when Im sick..everything just seems to get to me.

posted by butterflies @ 9:13 AM 6 comments

Sunday, May 07, 2006


Today my brother (who is a pastor) came out to our home and baptised James.
It was a beautiful ceremony and Gods love touched us all.
James has been given into Our Fathers hands for safe keeping.
Wherever we go,whatever we do,we will all meet again.That is the assurance weve been promised.Our lives touch each other..everyone we meet.
The baptism was a cleansing of the soul and the affirmation that we have eternal life.Cancer will never separate us.

posted by butterflies @ 9:49 PM 3 comments

Friday, May 05, 2006

One Down....

One horrible MOUSE dead...now we just got to wait for the RAT!
Wonder why God made mice?? I can live without them thats for sure!

posted by butterflies @ 5:09 PM 4 comments

Thursday, May 04, 2006


This morning I wandered out to the laundry room half asleep and there was a BIG FAT RAT sitting on my drier!! I screamed,James came running(out of a deep sleep) and the stupid fat thing ran out the same way as it had come it..."its a RAT" I told James...he said "its only a mouse"...well whatever it is its got bloody BIG poos and its brown and revolting!!! It had a long tail and it was fat so its irrelevant WHAT it is,I want it GONE...NOW!!!

posted by butterflies @ 9:53 AM 6 comments

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