I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Visitor.

This beautiful native woodpigeon came to visit today.It sat on the fence for hrs..
Just peacefully sitting there and being a part of the garden.
I love the colors and James knew that they were my favourites.
I feel blessed today,knowing that he never forgot us and will be with us always.

And I feel honored to have all of you in my life.You all are my strength.

posted by butterflies @ 10:28 PM 5 comments

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Happy Birthday!!

Today my gorgeous grandson Ez turned 10! TEN!!! Its hard to believe.
The last few yrs have flown by with so many things happening.When Ez was 4 he came to OKC with his mum and dad(my son)and my mum.It was a great experience for him.He got to go to the dinasour museum and some cowboy forts in El Reno.He learned to swim.

Now hes so grown up.Hes soft and has a lovely warm nature.He helps out other kids at school and teaches his teacher how to use her computer! Hes intelligent,funny,eager to please,generous and a pleasure to have around.he helps me to cook and garden..his favourite thing is to be up a high tree on the farm.
This is one of my fav pics of us.Ez was 5.
Happy birthday Ezzie.I love you xxx

posted by butterflies @ 7:53 PM 5 comments

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Looking and Finding.

A few months ago I was having lots of dreams..before I left the states to come home.
One of them in June was about me searching for an iris..
Well my irises are out and I was very impressed at how they look at night in the moonlight.It had just rained so they looked beautiful.
It made me realise that when we search,we do find.
Maybe we dont always find exactly what were looking for but we can find something along the way,maybe unexpected,maybe a treasure,and it can fill us with joy.
I am making decisions and choices in my life,things that will be good for me.
Im happy today because my irises were everything I wished for and not a disappointment in sight:)
Have a good weekend my friends!

posted by butterflies @ 10:34 AM 3 comments

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Great Aunt:)

Ive just become a great aunt!! My beautiful niece gave birth last night to a stunning;) daughter..Im finally GREAT at something :)

posted by butterflies @ 10:25 AM 4 comments

Sunday, October 05, 2008

The Time Has Come

I know the time has come when I must take my darlings ashes and scatter them to the wind..Im so sad and alone.I know that I make out Im happy but Im full of shit! Im not happy.Of course Im thrilled to be home and if I must breakdown,then this is the place to do it.Im safe.Thats the most important thing.
But altho Im good at dishing out advice Im useless when it comes to ME.Its 18mths since James died.Ive taken his ashes back to his family and hes even lost his brother since then..too many deaths.
To have closure,I have to spread his ashes,well thats what Im told anyway.I want to throw them to the wind and let them scatter..I have one urn full and I took the other urn to his family.They have dealt with it and now its my time.
But I dont know if I can do it!!! Is it because I dont want to let him go? Is it that Im not ready? will I ever be ready??
What is closure anyway??
Maybe I should just stop writing because I dont feel as if I make sense anymore.

posted by butterflies @ 10:15 PM 5 comments

Site design by M. Collins, 2003