I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Gods Peace

The peace of God has come apon me once again.I need to thank you all for the wonderful words of support,encouragement and understanding.
I have been having grief councelling as some of you suggested and its helped me a great deal.Ive learned that grief is a long process and if I take it one day at a time Im ok.I cant look too far ahead but I have to make some plans.
Ive decided that I will go to Oklahoma in July to James memorial service.I didnt think Id ever have the energy to travel again but I know that if I dont go I will always regret it.Its my final task to do for my beautiful sweet baby James.I will be there to spread his ashes and to feel the love of his family and mine.
I dont have any money but Im praying about that too.Things will all work out.
Mum tells me that shes coming with me..LOL shes going to England and Canada too.Not bad for an almost 80yr old woman:)
Im moving forward again.Back on the journey.Thankyou to Chana for the wonderful box of goodies and to Diane for the lovely fish wind charms..
I love you all.

posted by butterflies @ 12:56 PM 6 comments

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


I made a decision when I started this blog that I would write everything.The good and the bad.I wished that it would always be good and I could provide some help and some faith.But fate intervened.It began with the life of me and James.Now its just me.I try so hard to be happy and upbeat but...
I feel like a fish swimming up stream.Im fighting the current.I know the direction I have to go but the currents too strong.I want to get through it but its stronger than me..more powerful.Its swift and fast.I am strong but the current is stronger.I feel like i will drown.
All my best intentions are of no avail.My strength is running out.

Is this part of the journey forward?

posted by butterflies @ 9:12 PM 9 comments

Friday, April 06, 2007

New beginnings

We all know that its not about the destination its about the journey...But the journey takes us to places..fun places,exciting places,scarey places,unknown territory,sadness death and LOVE.
Love is the most important thing in your life..love for kids,spouses,parteners,co=workers.
If you have no love on the journey,the destination IS an issue.
If you do have love,then you know where your going.
Now my life must move forward.Begin a new journey.
Easter is a good time.Its about birth and death..new beginnings.
Im about to start a new life:)

posted by butterflies @ 10:27 PM 10 comments

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Look outside

One night James said to me " I wish I could give you something...anything" I said "ok I'll have the moon"
He said "its yours baby".
Tonight is a beautiful moon and I can look up and believe its mine.
Love has no boundries.
Remember to love the one youre with..all the time,with all your heart.

posted by butterflies @ 10:00 PM 6 comments

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