I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Mother -daughter time

Today I took my Mum to Morrinsville,a little town about 15 miles away.She wanted to sell one of her patchwork quilts and theres a shop there who was interested in it.In fact they offered her $500 for it and she seems keen.
We had a nice few hours together..she bought me lunch and of course a cappuccino:)I had a chicken/ spinach and brie cheese filo roll-up thing with a lovely fresh salad and home made tomato chutney..it was delicious.Then we went around all of the shops just browsing and talking.She loved having me all to herself!
I bought some beaded hippy curtains in blues and greens with little peace signs on them..heh..and a new big flashlight for those times like last saturday night when some guys had a blowout and cruised into our driveway to fix the tyre.
Mum bought me some flowers and arranged them into my vase when we got home.
They are at the top of this post.
Today reminded me of the day that Mum and Dad and I went to Morrinsville for a drive when Dad was so ill before he died.He couldnt get out of the car so he watched me and mum walk up and down the street...memories are precious.

posted by butterflies @ 2:34 PM 4 comments

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The little Grasshopper

Heres my grandson,little grasshopper.

posted by butterflies @ 10:59 AM 4 comments

Monday, September 26, 2005


This weekend we had Ezzie to stay.Its his last weekend in Hamilton before him and his Mum move away.They will only be an hour and a half to drive but still...its so sad.He is my soul,he comes from my son,who comes from me.He was born here on the farm and we built the cottage for them.I loved having Ez with me,close by.He would toddle over in his nappies in the mornings and hang out with me..at night he would come over after his bath,smelling beautiful as only kids can do...
I was tucking him into bed last night for his last sleep til I see him again on the holidays etc,and he said...Nan,dont forget me will ya!!...AS IF!!! I prayed with him and asked for Gods peace to be with us and for him to meet some nice new friends and be happy in his new school..and we prayed for his mum.That she may find happiness and joy...Goodbye for a while little grasshopper..I will miss you.

posted by butterflies @ 9:20 AM 4 comments

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Looking back

Apon reading Sandys blog
I realised there are some things that I do miss about OKlahoma,apart from James family.
I thought that I hated Walmart...while I was there I hated going and always sent james and Cori,but the times I did go,it was so easy to get everything in the one shop.The staff was terrible and grumpy and didnt know if they had whatever I was looking for,but it was convenient..there was 60 different mascaras and 500 nail polishes..easy to find cleansing pads and get a key cut at the same time.
I also miss all day breakfasts.I would have bacon and eggs and hash browns and hot tea for $3.99..any time of the day or night.James had pancakes and bacon and sausage.You could have a smoke while you waited and it never took any more than 10mins..
Wine is cheaper there too! We live in a country here that grows and produces amazing wines and even the aussie wines are cheaper in OK.Smokes are cheap and seem to be longer! Even cut flowers are cheaper and lovely bouquets are easy to find.
And I miss Applebees and oriental chicken salad! And Aaron and Eric..and the Friday nights we spent sitting at their bar enjoying food and good wine.
All the things I miss...but Id still rather be home;)

posted by butterflies @ 10:48 AM 4 comments

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Cold blast hits

The spring weather is unpredictable and has changed from being warm and fine to being windy and cold.Ive had to get out winter clothes that Id already packed away.
We had a small tornado here on the weekend that uprooted trees and took off some roofs..nothing like OKlahoma but still rather unusual for Hamilton.
My vege garden has coped fine tho it may stop the tomatoes growth for a while.We are picking curly lettuces in green and red,spring onions,fresh herbs,and silverbeet.Its such a buzz.
Now my heart is aching for a puppy.I want one so bad and of course I cant find one! I want a blue heeler like my Gracie and there are none to be found...its a bit early for puppy season so I have to be patient.My brother bought a gorgeous beardie on the weekend to be a working dog for his sheep.His name is Thomas and hes an outside dog.He has a job to do.
James is really good this week and altho hes still losing weight and his bones dig into me when I lie on his knee,he looks good and hes happy and funny.Hospice is coming soon and well see what they have to say.
The kid got busted smoking at school!! Its the one thing I thought shed never do and I was really shocked and dismayed.She then informed us shes been doing it for years!!
WEll,Ive put a stop to that! She will not smoke again.I used aversion therapy(if you know what I mean;)
The school holidays start on Friday and she is enrolled in a church programme where she helps to mind all the little kids..that should keep her out of trouble.
My Mum has signed up for her new house and they start building within 2 weeks.She wants to be in it for Xmas.Its exciting for her.Shes going to have everything new..lounge suite,bedroom,curtains etc for the first time in 50 years.Its going to be a gorgeous little cottage on the hill overlooking the lake on my brothers farm.I cant wait to go shopping with her to chose everything.
James brother Phil has sent some Nicaraguan coffee which we are eagerley waiting for too.The hospice nurses love the American coffee and James gets a buzz out of making it for them.They are so good to us.
Im so glad to have met and fallen in love with James.Hes made me whole and I adore him.He has a wonderful family and I love them so much.I miss them too.
We have been posting some cards to them to keep in touch.
Now I have to get off my butt and do some laundry and make the most of the windy sunshine we have today...hopefully we may have another few days of it..Later:)

posted by butterflies @ 10:27 AM 2 comments

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Charlies Last Stand Okc

I got a letter yesterday...snail mail..yep,some ppl still do it..
It was from Howard and he told me that Charlies Last Stand,our favourite biker bar is for sale.Its true to say that Jim,the owner has had health problems and all he wants to do is ride now so he selling it.He wants $200 grand for it.It has 500 sq feet of partying space and a huge carpark.They have the lovely Miss Amy playing and the Zen Okies to help the party every Sunday night and they rock up a storm.
There is enough room for thousands of bikes and we have great memories of Charlies...The dance floor is small but the atmosphere is huge.
If I had some spare money I would buy it..the place makes money..the bar staff are great and theres always friendly ppl there any time of the day or night.
The place rocks!!! anyone with any money needs to invest it there...

posted by butterflies @ 7:47 PM 1 comments

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

A good good day

Today was a very good day.James blood pressure has returned to normal and he looks much better.His color is good and hes full of energy again.We had lunch in town with Jake and went to the garden centre tho we didnt buy anything.Then we went to the pound and looked at puppies but they were not very healthy looking so we didnt get tempted.
My sister in laws hands are healing fast now that her antibiotics have changed and my nephew has got glandular fever which is way better than meningitis.Hes at home now too tho he feels like crap,hes happy to be home...
SO,all of the prayers everyone said for us have worked and things are much better.

posted by butterflies @ 4:38 PM 5 comments

Sunday, September 04, 2005


Please pray for my family as right now we are coming under an attack.
Last night my mother came home from being at a meeting and found that her house had been burgled.They stole her cameras and all her jewellery which included the medal she got from graduating nursing( her RN) more than 50 years ago.
My younger brothers wife has a virus that she contracted from the sheep they raise on their property and it has infected her hands and feet.She was in hospital yesterday with septisemia(blood poisoning).
Also yesterday my older brothers son was admitted to hospital with a very high fever and a rash all over his body.They thought at first it was gladular fever but now with the rash,they are testing for meningitis.Hes been vomitting all night and on a drip.
God is with us....but we are being tested.

posted by butterflies @ 10:42 AM 4 comments


Weve been watching carefully the destruction and the desolation from Katrina.
Its hard to fathom.The state of Louisiana is the same size as England...and its destroyed.I find it so hard to believe that George Bush couldnt get in and help with troops and food aid.He can send troops to Iraq but not into his own country???
He has such a bad name worldwide now and its getting worse daily.
He took money from the state that was being used to build levies and used it for war!
What a stupid ignorant man.
I just wish I could do something to help all those poor people stranded and homeless.

posted by butterflies @ 10:18 AM 0 comments

Saturday, September 03, 2005


Today I saw my gorgeous nephew go off to the school of life.Hes heading to Bath University in England on an engineering scholarship.His best friend Richard is a Rhode scholar who left at the same time for Oxford.
Last weekend I went to the wedding of my eldest neice,Amy.She married her childhood sweetheart.She looked like an angel.The dress was white spun with gold thread.She sang a beautiful unaccompanied song in the church to her new husband...it made the hair on my head stand up.She is so alive and now back in London to begin a new life with her husband who manages a rock singer.
Tonight James said that I gave him life. Oh and have we LIVED:) We have such a good time! But I told him that even tho we live life,I also have shown him death.Ive taught him how to die with grace and joy.Not ME but God in me.HE is the spirit that guides the vessel that is me.I am showing James how to die just as I showed him how to live.Now James will have eternal life,life more abundantly.
If I had known that James was going to die while in my care,would I still have travelled the world to be with him?YES!! Hes shown me love and joy..hes made me a woman and he has given me so much ...total unconditional love.Time is irrelevant to our love.The school of life is here and now.The school of death is what we must come to learn...
Wisdom is a gift given from the spirit of God.God is life and He is death,which for us is eternal life.

posted by butterflies @ 10:57 AM 2 comments

Friday, September 02, 2005

Spring is here

The first official day of spring has come and the weather is gorgeous.The sun is shining and the days are warm..theres little lambs and calves in the paddocks around us.The daffodils and tulips are all over the place and Ive planted my vegies.
We went to the bank yesterday and James had a funny turn..and we hadnt even checked our balance yet!! I took him to the doctor and he had an ECG and some blood work done.His heart is enlarged and he needs some meds and maybe a blood transfusion to give him some energy but hes way better today tho a bit tired.( I hope they dont give him some other *tired* persons blood!Hospice have just left.I cannot praise them highly enough.They are angels.They ring every day and really care about ME and James.Its wonderful to have their support and caring.I went to see a grief councelor and what I took away from that was to be true to myself...to feel and cry if I need to,to love and laugh as I want to.To always express myself and to not be pressured by anyone else.I have such a peace about things and have no fear.
Cori has really settled down again and is loving and caring.We support each other.She had a couple of bad days and when I asked her what was wrong,it was because she thought I may send her away!..Of course I assured her that would never happen,shes my daughter and I love her as my own.She has free will.We got a check from the cancer society today to cover her school uniform and that was great!Shes really looking forward to the school camp and is staying with a friend on the weekend.They go to the movies ans stare at boys!
James is asleep now as he usually does in the afternoons.I look at him and adore him.Hes still my lover and still has a twinkle in his eye;)
Im going to sit in the sun with some American coffee and throw the stick for Red Dog.
Have a nice weekend everyone..

posted by butterflies @ 3:08 PM 1 comments

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