I listen to the gentle murmuring voice
Of our city, awake despite the hour
And I linger, unwilling to return
To the television world inside — droolingmonkey

Thursday, March 30, 2006

A Home Birthday

Today was the first birthday I have had at home in NZ for 5 yrs.Its been a good day.Although I have been sick all week and this morning when I woke I realised that I wasnt getting any better and felt damn miserable! So I went to the doc and got some major antibiotics for yet another UTI..
James and Jake came with me and we all went to Mums for lunch instead of the restuarant wed had planned.It was a warm sunny day and I was just so thankful and happy to have the 2 men I love with me all day.My brothers rang to say happy bday and one of my lovely gfriends that I havent had a chance to catch up with yet since I got back.Shes coming over next weekend:)
Im ending this day feeling better as the meds take effect and knowing that my gorgeous Ezzie is coming for the weekend.

posted by butterflies @ 9:15 PM 7 comments

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Happy birthday Jacob.You are an exceptional son,a true friend,my comfort and my rock.You have always bought goodness and joy to my life and I thankyou for that.
When Im down and you put your arms around me and say Love Ya.. ,it gives me strength.
I wish every good thing for you.Cheers Son:)

posted by butterflies @ 10:32 AM 6 comments

Monday, March 27, 2006

Productive weekend

It began at 7pm last night and the storm blew and the rains came down in sideways thundering verocity.It had been gently drizzling all day and it was wonderful to have the rain soaking into my garden,easing my workload of watering and moving plants to a place out of the sun.Now I could just leave them to it..I planted out poppies,pansies,lobellias,azaleas,and alyssm.I fertilised the ground with blood and bone and sheep pellets,giving them enough nutrients to last them through the winter.
On saturday,B-I-law bought himself a caravan to have his own space.Its so cute and him and I spent the day scrubbing and cleaning it,taking off other ppls dirt and making it smell fresh and new.I cleaned the cushions and washed his blankets and he siliconed around all the windows to ensure no rain would get inside.Then James spent a few hours trying to figure out why the power wouldnt work..its always helpful to have an electricain on hand when you need it).Something was wrong with the earth thingy but he eventually got it sussed out after going to town with Jake to buy a new heavy duty plug and wiring it into the garage.So it was James to the rescue and we were all pleased to see him mastering something hes good at...
I got Jake and B-I-law to carry over my very heavy sideboard from the house and I cleaned it and polished it til it shone.I needed something extra to put things in and even tho its stain is a bit dark,its oak and a family heirloom.One of these days I will sand it down to its original glory.
The suns out again this morning and the yard is full of leaves and debris and things turned upside down.Im going out to plant up some begonia cuttings and make sure all my pots are upright again! And with the wind blowing the way it is now the washing should be dry in half an hour.:)

posted by butterflies @ 10:18 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Did you know that it is not longer PC to have Baa Baa Black sheep? It now has to be Baa Baa Rainbow sheep!
And all the Kings horses and all the kings men DO put Humpty together again!!
I find it extraordinary that nursery rhymes that weve had all our lives and all our parents lives now have to be changed to fit into this PC world gone MAD!

posted by butterflies @ 4:57 PM 3 comments

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Catch Up

Things are still ticking along here.James sleeps most of the days altho sometimes we can go out for a drive or do a bit of shopping.Hes very tiny and small now but hes very happy.Coris stoked to be living in town(she is boarding with her best friend Eden and her mother and 2 little kids) and loves being able to walk home from school and hang out at the shops etc.She works most weekends on a kiosk..selling cotton candy and kebabs and toffee apples.Shes earing money so that makes her happy..of course she still buys inappropriate clothes and too much coke but shes very happy and weve had no trouble with her lately.We go and pick her up from school a couple of times a week if James is ok and we go to the park or to mums together.She rings every night and we have a good old normal talk.Its easier when shes happy!
Im ok tho I seem to be tired all the time..its grief I spose and the fact that I stay up with James at nights cos I hate leaving him...I never feel as if theres enough time left.
But were all together as a family,our kids and grandson and exs and brothers and mothers and its wonderful.Me and James cuddle and kiss and Jake still tells us to get a room...The countryside is gorgeous now that autumn is here and the nights are cool.The days are warm and are spent sitting in the sun and reading a lot.I am happier than Ive ever been.

posted by butterflies @ 10:01 AM 4 comments

Friday, March 10, 2006

DVT Awareness month.

March is now officially DVT awareness month.And this is my story.You can read about DVT here .
I had been full on into aerobics at the local gym and had progressed into being an instructor.I loved it.I went 3 times a week and was healthy and fit and walked on the beach every day as well.But since november 87 I had been taking a hormone drug called Diane 50 because my skin was pimply and oily...and the whole time I had been taking the drug I had a sore leg.It used to ache at night and the doc kept saying it was because of the exersize and said..no pain no gain..So I continued to take it.
On June 19th 1988 I woke up with a blue,cold leg.I rang my mum and she told me to go to the doc so when his surgery opened at 8am I did just that.I drove there.He took one look at me and rang for an ambulance! I asked him what was wrong and he told me I would die if I didnt go to hospital.I didnt believe him so I drove home and thought about it for a while,then rang my husband(my ex) and told him what the doc had told me.He came zooming home from work and took me to the hospital.I remember the whole trip and went unconscious as soon as I got to the doors.Thats all I can remember til I woke up after surgery to remove a massive blood clot that had lodged in my groin.I was lucky to be alive.The surgeon who operated told me that I had 7 seconds to live and had a cardiac arrest in the operating room.I was in shock.My leg was fucked.I was on blood thinners and my exersize programme was gone.I was on bed rest with elastic stockings for 6 weeks,in enormous pain and really freaked out.
6 mths later I had more surgery.I had a vein bypass to help with the blood flow.They took the saphrenous vein from my right leg and transfered it across my abdomen and down into my left leg.I have had leg pain ever since.When I get tired my leg aches.When Im stressed my leg aches.When I walk too far my leg aches...throbs.
I almost died and now Im at serious risk of having another DVT or a pulmonary embolism...I have an 80 per cent chance of getting another one.And this month is DVT mth.There are ways of preventing it so they say.The hormone pills I took caused mine and they told me that if I hadnt been so fit and healthy I would have died.
But HEY! Im still here,still alive! Its my motto...you cant kill weeds:)

posted by butterflies @ 8:24 PM 5 comments

Sunday, March 05, 2006


My 7yr old grandson Ezzie came running into see me when he arrived for the weekend.
He said..hey Nan guess what? I know the adult name for poos...its SPECIES! Heh

posted by butterflies @ 2:00 PM 2 comments

Friday, March 03, 2006


Why does grief turn my brain to MUSH!???
Yesterday we(me) got lost in the underground carpark.I couldnt find the exit until a nice man pointed it out to me and then when I got there,I couldnt know how or where to put the stupid ticket...the nice man had been watching me and came over and helped me to do it and said*first time huh?*..It was so embarrasing! Then I went to take off and the car was in neutral and I was going nowhere! OMG!
Today I went out to get some pansies from the garden centre while the hospice nurse was here with James.I couldnt decide which colors to get,then couldnt find my card to pay,then couldnt find my car keys!! It even feels wierd driving along by myself after having James with me everywhere I go.Im getting all dithery like my mother! Now I know why Old ladies are thought of as looney....I just hope I come back to normal soon....

posted by butterflies @ 3:34 PM 4 comments

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